We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

A Lion in the Sun

by Brian Andrew Marek

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    A Lion in the Sun limited edition CD

    Includes unlimited streaming of A Lion in the Sun via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 7 days
    edition of 100 

      $5 USD or more 

     

1.
there’s a car parked down your street that never fails to make you dawdle ‘cos it brings to mind a girl who drove that very make and model though you know it isn’t hers ‘cos its production year is newer you keep thinking of the girl and wondering what happened to her and you didn’t think you’d ever show a soft spot and you didn’t think she’s someone you would miss and you didn’t think you’d ever wish for one more kiss there’s a sappy old time love song playing on the oldies station she had sung it in the rental car while you were on vacation though you’d heard that song your first time many years before you’d met her it’s become one more reminder of the fact you can’t forget her you’ve been picturing her smile it’ll be a while ‘til you are free you’ve been dreaming of her face you just can’t erase her memory
2.
Bad 02:32
you’d like to think that you’re the victim of this game you’d like to think that you’ve been had you’d like to think that I’m a villain with no shame you’d like to think that I’m all bad but I’m only as bad as you want me to be I’m only as bad as you want me to be you’d like to think your happiness is in my hands you’d like to think I made you sad you’d like to think that my requests are all demands you’d like to think that I’m all bad but I’m only as bad as you want me to be I’m only as bad as you want me to be and every time we meet it ends the same you take all that I have I only take the blame you’d like to think that you’re the victim of this game you’d like to think that you’ve been had you’d like to think that I’m a villain with no shame you’d like to think that I’m all bad but I’m only as bad as you want me to be I’m only as bad as you want me to be
3.
I've read what you wrote and I've heard what you said and I'm told you've been calling me names so why do grown women like you always end up resorting to little girl games you're telling your friends what to think about me just in case they can't really decide you star as the victim with me as the villain in stories with only one side you'd have to love me to hate me that much you know it's only a crutch tell me you're sick at the thought of my touch you'd have to love me to hate me that much I've read what you wrote and I've heard what you said and I'm sorry I caused so much pain but why do grown women like you always end up becoming a little insane if you search my eyes for the roots of a rift you will always find what you expect if you try to trick me or push me or test me you'll always prove what you suspect you'd have to love me to hate me that much you know it's only a crutch tell me that I'm just an old such-and-such you'd have to love me to hate me that much you'd have to love me to hate me that much you know it's only a crutch tell me I didn't come through in the clutch you'd have to love me to hate me that much
4.
Laughing Boy 02:30
beware the laughing boy whose heart is cold as ice beware the laughing boy the living plot device you know there's something tragic underneath that grinning greasepaint mask so don't even ask beware the laughing boy who fell out of the groove beware the laughing boy the sovereign of remove you know there's something tragic underneath the blinding spotlight glare that he can't repair he's always on he's always gone he's always somewhere you can't reach him he's just a tool he's just a fool he thinks there's nothing you can teach him beware the laughing boy who disappears in smoke beware the laughing boy punch line to his own joke you know there's something tragic underneath that rapid fire jive how does he survive
5.
if you're of the mind that life is but a dance if you don't know the moves then you don't stand a chance and if you're of the mind that life is but a joke you'd better hope they laugh when you go up in smoke but I can't shake the feeling that when all is said and done there's something fundamentally good, pure and right about this life if you're of the mind that life is just to die you'd better not expect an explanation why and if you're of the mind that life is far too short then reach the other side and send me a report but I can't shake the feeling that when all is said and done there's something fundamentally good, pure and right about this life if you're of the mind that life is but a dance if you don't know the moves then you don't stand a chance and if you're of the mind that life is but a joke you'd better hope they laugh when you go up in smoke if you're of the mind if you're of the mind if you're of the mind if you're of the mind
6.
7.
Poison Pen 02:40
once again burned by a friend this freeway has become a dead end faith was blind, no papers signed got no recourse, my counsel resigned just said to put it out of my mind but it’s okay ‘cos I will never have to see you again and since that day you’re just a blot of ink that fuels my poison pen hide your eyes, wear your disguise regular Joe, plain spoken but wise in your wake, promises break how does it feel to know you’re a fake my trust in you was my first mistake I hope one day you’ll learn the meaning of regret ‘cos I cannot forgive what I cannot forget how about easing my doubt try to explain why you sold me out something died deep down inside when it occurred to me that you’d lied saying you’d always be on my side
8.
there ain’t no use when every crime has an excuse I don’t need your bloodless love I kill the time I lose myself in bitter rhyme I don’t need your bloodless love you’ve gone and done a very wicked thing you’ve turned my heaven into hell you’ve sucked the juice and pulp and spit the seeds and offered me an empty shell the waiver’s signed you’re out of sight, not out of mind I don’t need your bloodless love I can’t forget a thousand feelings of regret I don’t need your bloodless love why must we speak when there is nothing left to talk about what benefit exists in calling you a friend why must you tell me that you love me after walking out why am I, some months later, waiting for the end is this my fate a weak alternative to hate I don’t need your bloodless love I’ll stick with spite don’t want you thinking you were right I don’t need your bloodless love
9.
All Alone 02:18
had the world upon a string until that string was cut must’ve reaped something I’d sown but I just don’t know what I’m all alone, yeah yeah yeah I could use a real friend who’ll stay through thick and thin I just have acquaintances that line up as I win I’m all alone, yeah yeah yeah but then again, it’s nothing new ‘cos I’ve been lonely my life through gotta keep on moving and I gotta stay on track I don’t know what lies ahead just know I can’t turn back I’m all alone, yeah yeah yeah
10.
I see a little bit of me in you a little bit of you in me I see a little bit of me in you I hope that you’ll agree woah, sleeping in the sunshine I’ve been thinking ‘bout you every day and dreaming ‘bout you every night I’ve been thinking ‘bout you every day I hope that that’s alright woah, sleeping in the sunshine I’d like to spend a little time with you so spend a little time with me I’d like to spend a little time with you I hope that you’ll be free woah, sleeping in the sunshine
11.
12.
if a friend is someone that is guaranteed to stay what should I call all those people who have turned away wish I wasn't lying when I said I didn't care wish I didn't have to be aware even written down the accusations seem to shout could I be the monster that I've read so much about wish I wasn't lying when I said I don't believe wish someone would grant me a reprieve but my stiff upper lip is just about to slip they've hit me where I live and something's got to give loyalties can redefine the meaning of a word strangers tend to fall in with whichever side they've heard wish I wasn't lying when I said it's no big deal wish sometimes I didn't have to feel
13.
I wouldn't want to wear the shoes you wore the day I lit your fuse and turned your reasons to remains I wouldn't want to wear the shirt you wore as you discovered hurt how could I bear to see the stains my sickly smiles won't save the day blood on the tiles will never wash away you didn't make it very far the day you crashed your mother's car I drove six blocks to take you home I parked the car and walked inside and fell asleep with you beside but woke up terribly alone and this apartment's far too small I cannot find a place to hide I could've sworn I saw your ghost but they tell me you haven't died and so I find you in this place reflecting on a life's mistakes because there's nothing else to do this has to be some kind of test 'cos when I look at all the rest I see they're not at all like you
14.
when you sweat your sweet pheromones speak to me when you sweat I’m a slave to your chemistry you don’t smell like a product, no you don’t smell like a product, no you don’t smell like nobody but you when you sweat your musk simply intoxicates when you sweat all my powers rejuvenate you don’t smell like a product, no you don’t smell like a product, no you don’t smell like nobody but you it only confirms what I’d always known there’s proof of our love in bouquet alone when you sweat how I feel has no precedent when you sweat there’s no time to be hesitant you don’t smell like a product, no you don’t smell like a product, no you don’t smell like nobody but you
15.
ten seventeen oh two at 8 am I was a little too awake I’d banged my head against her wall again but her foundation wouldn’t break an ashtray buried under cigarettes tomato sauce encrusted bowl no more sweet music on my stereo no more sweet music in my soul the darkness will destroy you if you let it and I’m just glad that I lived to regret it so “sorry” if I ain’t already said it there’ll be no repeat performance ten seventeen oh two at 9 am the world was just a bit too grey so many ears I could have spoken to but I had nothing left to say a lone bare bulb that strained to cut the gloom a bottle of my baby’s wine sat waiting for a glimpse of something good sat waiting for some kind of sign the darkness will destroy you if you let it and I’m just glad that I lived to regret it so “sorry” if I ain’t already said it there’ll be no repeat performance ten seventeen oh two at 10 am I was a little too alive drove off to buy myself a remedy a cure I hoped not to survive cold sheets, cold blanket and a freezing bed blinds drawn to keep the morning out deliver me from all my failures, Lord deliver me from all my doubt the darkness will destroy you if you let it and I’m just glad that I lived to regret it so “sorry” if I ain’t already said it there’ll be no repeat performance
16.
little darling, trust in fate to treat you like a friend little darling, this is the beginning, not the end I’m certain me and you are going to see this through the way we always do little darling, you think that your head’s going to explode little darling, this is just a rough spot in the road I don’t doubt you and I might share a little cry but somehow we’ll get by you told me that you’d never known such love before but you ain’t seen nothing ‘til you’ve seen it grow you told me that you’d never known such love before so you’d have to be a fool to let it go

about

In the summer of 2005, the band I'd led for some six years was losing momentum, purpose and key members. I was feeling pretty burned out on that scene, so I eagerly accepted an invitation to play bass for a long-running alt-country band due to tour Europe - only to be summarily dismissed two months and two gigs into our stateside preparations. I was beginning to suspect that I, as the saying goes, "don't play well with others".

So I fired up the (already obsolete) ADAT machine, chose some songs both old and new, and began the joyously painstaking task of recording a solo album. A SOLO album, for I am fully to blame for every instrument and every voice heard upon this recording. A solo ALBUM, because this was conceived as such, not as a series of unrelated demos or experiments. To put it another way, this is probably the most ambitious project I've ever undertaken. Frankly, I wonder how I managed it!

But while the recording process went fairly briskly (aside from a panic over a damaged tape that nearly nixed "Ten Seventeen Oh Two"), mixing yet again infinitely delayed a promising project (another story for another time). A friend who worked in a commercial recording studio offered to mix the album for free during the studio's downtime, and while we managed to get a few tracks done, time dragged on with no progress, and after a while, he stopped returning my emails. (The original mix of "One More Kiss", by the way, did appear on a hurricane Katrina benefit compilation, "Upstream/Downstream".)

Fast forward to June of 2007. I'm sitting on these tapes, I've got a pair of ears and some decent equipment, why don't I just mix 'em myself and, uh, do something with 'em? Well, I mixed them, edited them, crossfaded them, and mostly enjoyed the result. I decided five of them needed remixing (KIDS: See if you can guess which ones!) but... well, life is full of distractions. I'm not a professional, y'know.

Now it's September of 2008. Somewhere along the line I realized that I'm no closer to having the money to press and release such a thing on my own, and I have no stomach for the notion of "pitching" (ugh) myself to a label. Also, the ADAT machine seems to have given up the ghost for good, so the mixes I have are most likely the only one's I'll ever have.

But I've grown to accept that it is what it is, and I'm proud of what I've done, whatever its faults. And I have the good fortune to live in the age of the music blog, so I can finally release (in the sense of letting something go) this music to the world and not keep it in the closet like so many skeletons. Please enjoy, and know that though I receive no monetary recompense, the right comment is more precious far than gold.

credits

released September 30, 2005

all songs written, arranged, performed, engineered, produced and mixed by Brian Andrew Marek

photography by Kate Mittendorf
layout by Brian Andrew Marek

conceived and recorded in the summer of 2005
mixed, edited and crossfaded in July of 2007
split and packaged in September of 2008

special thanks to Jason Rook (for his assistance in recovering a section of "Ten Seventeen Oh Two" from oblivion and supervising some early mixes) and Kate Mittendorf (for her love, inspiration and belief)

Rubberstamp Records RSR-008

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Rubberstamp Records St Louis, Missouri

Rubberstamp Records is a DIY indie record label based in the Saint Louis, MO area and helmed by local music scene veteran Brian Andrew Marek.

contact / help

Contact Rubberstamp Records

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

Rubberstamp Records recommends:

If you like A Lion in the Sun, you may also like: